Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Why are the most uncomplicated things complicated?  LOL.  I swear, nothing is ever easy anymore.  Things don't just happen.  There always has to be something, something that gets in the way.  I've been the queen of adapt and overcome my whole life.  But why does it seem like I can't just be at any given moment without having to?  It's damned exhausting is what it is.  I'm presented with decisions I don't want to make, plain and simple.  And once again, I have to be the bigger person, the one who makes the right decision long term instead of being able to just live in the now.  All these issues, things I can't change, things I can't fix, and it will drive these decisions forever I think.  I don't think I will ever truly get to be happy, happy with myself, happy with my life, become complacent and comfortable.  It will never happen.  There will always be a dark cloud hovering over my head, the rain on my parade, and it pisses me off.  

So now I have to figure out what to do.  On the one hand I could be selfish and just run with it (it being the issue), make the decision based on the now and fuck the future.  But on the other hand I can't do that, because for everyone involved, someone has to make the choice instead of being caught up in the now, and reduce the amount of damage done later.  But how do you predict the future?  How do you even know if there will be damage in the future without getting there?  FUCK!  I don't know what to do.....I'm not sure there is a right answer but there has to be one that works, right?

1 comment:

  1. Love your title. I did a Google search for "blog for frustrations" because I have thought about starting one. I have only read your latest entry...and I can sooo relate to your frustration with life. I have come to believe that being happy is just not in my cards and I hate it when people use the word joy. I will read some more....but whatever your technical frustrations are...thanks for sharing, because you are not alone.